Why holidays are different when you're a carer

Holidays are something you're meant to look forward to, aren't they? A week or two of rest and relaxation.

A change of scenery.

Something to make happy memories.

If you're a parent, you'll know that suddenly that nice little break you had pre-children isn't the stress-free trip you'd maybe like.

Refereeing over whether it's the beach or a theme park or a more cultured day out.

Maintaining the only one ice-cream-a-day rule.

Making sure the whole week's budget isn't blown on day one. And if you're a carer, (in my case, for a young person with Type 1 Diabetes), it can add a whole extra layer of stress.

Because you can't leave a chronic medical condition or disability at home. You can't book it in to a boarding facility for a couple of weeks. It comes along for the ride too.

Add in:

• Different time zones.

• Different food.

• Different activities.

• Public transport.

• Lots of other people.

• Queues.

• Heat.

• Noise.

Yes, you'll probably get some lovely pictures to share on your socials or WhatsApp to your family who didn't come.

But in between those happy snapshots, did you actually get to relax?

Did you give yourself permission to have some down time too?

Or were you busy worrying about practical things like

• Battling with airport security over what's in your medical case and why it can't go in the hold

• How to carry all the extra supplies you need for a "simple" day out

• Keeping medication cool in hot weather and if there's a fridge in your hotel room

• Finding accessible days out where your kids could fully participate

• Explaining for the umpteenth time why you need to bring non-park food to a venue

• Finding appropriate food at the right time as nearly as important as medication

And then there's the invisible stuff like

• Feeling responsible if something goes wrong

• Wondering if you'll be judged at your next hospital clinic

• Never quite switching off

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As you're emptying your cases of dirty laundry into the washing machine before heading back to work, do you find yourself thinking "was that really a holiday?" I've been there.

Many times. On a recent road trip to Canada, I chose to do things a little differently.

I chose relaxation and decided to just roll with it.

Well mostly - because you can't just switch off being a carer when your child has Type 1 Diabetes.

But I made a conscious decision not to let it be so stressful if things went a little awry.

Managing blood glucose for a Type 1 Diabetic is challenging enough with home. Blood glucose on holiday is a whole other ball game.

A five-hour difference in time zone, managing insulin in hot weather, the worst air-pollution in the world during the Canadian wildfires, ice-cream, walking alpacas in 35C heat, flaky continuous glucose monitors (CGM), a lack of readily available sugar-free drinks, trips to a maple syrup farm (yep, she ate a lot of it!) and general holiday excitement meant that my daughter's blood sugars consistently failed to meet the expectations of our medical team.

Previously I would have been stressed; barely sleeping; anxious and exhausted with worry about all the extra things that could go wrong by the end of the holiday.

This time, however, I decided I'd just roll with it and we'd do our best for a couple of weeks. I wasn't going to let the stress of travelling with Type 1 diabetes steal yet another holiday. All Type 1 diabetics are given a target Time in Range (TIR) of 70%. No exceptions. Limited recognition of having a little leeway when you're on holiday.

We ended up at about 20% for the two weeks. Was that the wrong thing to do?

It's a personal decision - but to be a better mum and be able to be more present and better able to make happy memories we'll look back on in years to come, I had to relax.

Yes I had sleepless nights. Yes I tried my best. But as always I was fighting an invisible force.

So we did as much as we could but no more.

Did we have fun?

Yep?

Did we make memories? Yep. Amongst many other things, the fifteen-mile canoe paddle that will never be spoken about ever again and getting a 500ml bottle of pure, dark maple syrup through airport security when the bottle size was limited to 100ml. It's a treatment for hypoglycaemia - honestly! Because one fortnight of imperfect numbers won't define my daughter.

But missing two weeks of memories because I was too anxious to enjoy them would stay with both of us for much longer.

Holiday Checklist

Coming soon: If you've not travelled abroad with a young person with Type 1 Diabetes before, why not download my free holiday checklist here.

Caring without Burnout

If you're a carer and struggling with finding time for yourself, why not listen to the Care without Burnout podcast? In this episode I talk with host Donna Bentley-Carr about the importance of looking after yourself as a carer to help you be the best you can for the person you care for.

A lovely walk walk in the Canadian sunshine with (L-R) Stanley, Maverick and Dodger